Leave it all behind
by roguepixie04
Summary: Rogue is betrayed by Bobby, and finds that she has an impossible choice to make...WARNING: HEAVY THEMES, UNSUITABLE FOR YOUNGER READERS


disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters, they are the property of Marvel and 20th Century Fox, though I did invent the name of Rogue's first boyfriend, as I couldn't remember if he was given a name and I couldn't be bothered to watch the dvd to find out! This is my first fan fic, so please review. By the way, it is based on a dream I had...Enjoy!

Leave it all behind.

"But the best exam by far was…" Professor Xavier paused. "Rogue's! Well done Rogue, you passed with an A!" The class applauded as the professor handed over the physics final paper to a smiling Rogue. Just then the bell rang for the end of class. "Ok, class dismissed. Don't forget that your papers on black holes are due next Monday!" reminded the professor to the departing class.

"Bye professor! See you tomorrow!" chorused the students.

Rogue raced up the main stairs, her book bag bouncing against her hip, clasping her paper in her black-gloved hands. She couldn't wait to tell Bobby. After flunking her Christmas exam, he had been the one who had mopped her up with Kleenex, fed her endless chocolates and told her it didn't matter one bit and who needed physics anyway. Then, when she'd been feeling better, Bobby was the one who organized her notes, made her a study plan, and helped with her homework. And it had all paid off! She had passed with an A!

She ran along the boy's corridor to Bobby's room, startling juniors as she shouted: "Bobby, I passed, I did it! I got a-" As Rogue flung the door open, she stopped. On the bed, Bobby was lying, wearing nothing but a pair of red-and-white boxers. Fine, teenage boys did that all the time. But beside him lay, in her lacy briefs and bra, no other than Rogue's best friend Kitty Pryde. It was blatantly obvious what they had been doing, or were about to do.

Rogue's book bag and exam fell to the carpeted floor as she ran, crying, out of the room.

"Rogue, wait! Please, come back! Rogue!" shouted Bobby, as he clambered into his jeans and t-shirt.

Kitty silently slipped on her clothes and went back to her room, as Bobby raced after Rogue.

Meanwhile, Rogue had run out of the mansion and down to the lake, where she flung herself under a willow tree and wept.

"Rogue? Are you there?" Bobby pushed his way through the overhanging leaves of the tree. He knew this was Rogue's favourite place.

"Go away!" came the strangled reply. " I don't want to talk to you, you lying, cheating, double-crossing bastard!" Rogue stood up, faced Bobby, and slapped him hard across the face. "Why did you do it, just tell me that."

"You know why, Rogue," replied Bobby quietly.

"Because I couldn't give you any? You know that's not my fault!"

"I know, I know. But everyone always feels sorry for you, _poor Rogue, can't touch anyone. _But no one ever thinks about how I feel, poor Rogue's boyfriend. No one knows how every time you touch me, however slightly; I shudder, thinking how much you could hurt me. How much I long to kiss you hard, tear your clothes off, like every other teenage guy can. But I can't. I'm sorry Rogue, but, I-I can't do this any more."

Rogue turned away. " I would have forgiven you, you know that don't you?"

Bobby nodded.

"But you don't want to be forgiven. So, it's over…I need to be alone, please," said Rogue in a cold, stony voice. Bobby nodded again, and then walked back up to the mansion.

As soon as he was out of sight, she burst into tears, her throat chocking up, her eyes reddening. She should have known it would happen. Kitty was pretty, and funny, and touchable, and she, well, she obviously wasn't. Why should it be any different here at the mansion than back home in Minnesota, any different than with Ryan her first boyfriend? She thought coming to the mansion had been a good thing, but she had been wrong. She should have stayed home. And now, she thought, what was left? She could go back to Minnesota, but she'd been gone too long and everyone knew about Ryan. She could stay at the mansion, but it would hurt too much to have to watch Bobby and Kitty together, as a couple. And everyone would wonder what had happened. She couldn't face the stares and the whispers, the gossip and the pointing fingers…..

Rogue sat still for a while, watching the surface of the lake ripple in the wind. Then she stood up and walked slowly back up to the house, as the sun set over the lake. Rogue walked up to her room in the west of the house, slowly, silently, as if in a trance. When she reached her room, it was empty. Rogue smiled. She knew that her roommate, Jubilee, had a gym lesson now. She walked over to her dressing table, which was strewn with photographs of Jubilee, Kitty, Bobby and her. Rogue reached into a drawer and pulled out her silk purple scarf, which had been given to her by her mother when she was 11. Rogue wound it round her neck then picked a sheet of paper and a biro. She sat down at her desk, and began to write:

_Dear Logan,_

_This is a good bye letter. I hate goodbyes, I have said too many of them before, but this will be the last. _

_You are the only real friend I have ever had, anywhere, and I hate to hurt you like this, but I have to go. _

_Things change, you of people know that. People we think love us don't, people we think are our friends aren't, and people we love leave us. Most people move on, start again, but I can't do that, because no matter where I go I will never fit in, never get close to anyone. Sometimes I wished that you hadn't saved me on Liberty island, sometimes I wish it very much. Most people here can hide their "powers", use them when they are needed. But I can't. Besides my mutation isn't a power, it's a curse. That's why I have to go._

_I'm sorry for everything, love always Rogue xxx_

Rogue folded the letter in half, slipped it into an envelope, then licked it closed. She turned it over and carefully wrote Logan on the front. She propped the letter up on her dressing table next to the pair of indigo coloured silk gloves that Logan had given her for Christmas. Then she pulled a chair into the centre of the room, right under the light fixture. She stood up on it, and tied her purple scarf to the light. She knotted the scarf around her neck, and jumped.


End file.
